Here’s another confession: I’m not always a nice person.
I can be terribly mean if I want to. And with certain people, I always want to. I’m not exactly proud of it, though. Which is why I try to be nice as much as I can, but believe me, it only takes a little provocation to set me off. So avoid doing the following if you don’t want to be the object of my meanness.
1. Don’t insinuate that you’re better. Because maybe you are, and I don’t need to hear it. So it’s not as if I think I’m better, but quite the opposite. The truth is, I’m insecure in a lot of ways, and you pointing it out is like hitting a raw nerve. Unless, of course, you’re not really better, which is a different story altogether.
2. Don’t gang up on other people who, by virtue of their stature in life, have no capacity to fight you back. There’s a reason why I’m in this profession, and, no matter how corny this may sound, my heart really beats for the oppressed. So if I see that you’re throwing your weight around and you’re picking on people who cannot defend themselves, well, you have me to contend with. And believe me when I say that if I’m mean when I’m the victim of oppression, I’m doubly so when I’m not. So don’t be mean on the waiter or the guard or the bank teller or the telephone operator who are only doing their jobs. Instead, be glad that you’re not the one stuck with their thankless jobs, trying to appease mean customers like you.
3. Having said number 2 above, don’t sleep on your job. I may have designated myself as the defender of the waiters, and the guards, and the bank tellers, and the telephone operators, but that’s only if they are doing their jobs as best as they can. Otherwise, I’m the first to fill up the customer feedback form. And yes, I am mean, too when I do that.
4. Don’t be late and then say that good things come to those who wait. Really. I don’t know what kind of twisted logic is going on up there in your head, but whatever it is, I’m not buying it.
5. Lastly, don’t make me remedy your lousy job while I don’t see any effort on your part to improve. I’m not your troubleshooter. I’m not your hired assistant. And I’m definitely not your parent.
So I’m mean and I can’t help being so because this week, all of the foregoing happened. The thing though, is, I don’t like myself when I’m mean. I want to be Ms. Congeniality all the time, always assuming the best and seeing the good in people. But this week has given me more reasons to be quite the opposite.
Maybe I should just sleep in tomorrow and be alone the whole weekend so that other people will be spared of my negative vibes. Anyway, until I bounce back to my affable, amiable self, I have this book entitled Late Bloomer to keep me company. Any book with a title like that will most definitely bring back what’s nice in me.